Mind-fuckingly Bizarre.

  

               "When she was just a girl, she expected the world. But it flew away from her reach so she ran away in her sleep and dreamed of PARADISE..."

paradise: coldplay

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   I've had my fair share of bad days. Sure, there were times when I even told myself, "Putangina, tama na, pagod na ko." I'm sure we've all had those days. Na parang ang sikip na ng utak mo. Na parang isang salita pang marining mo galing sa kung sino man, sasabog ka na. Sisigaw ka na. Na para kang karneng nasa pressure cooker na natutuyuan na ng sabaw. Dahan-dahan gusto mong lumubog, na halos mamuti ang mata mo sa inip na lamunin ka nalang ng lupa. 

DAHIL GUSTO MONG TUMAKAS.

  Tumakas sa pamilya mong ipit na ipit ka na. Sa bitchesang boss mong walang ibang ginawa kundi araw-araw ay patunayan sa'yo na bobo ka. Pwede ring sa professor mong wala nang ginawa kundi ayain kang lumabas para sa unong inaasam-asam mo. Sa jowa mong ultimo pagnguya mo ng pagkain mo eh may nasasabi pa.

Sigaw. Takbo. Lubog. Litaw. Takbo ulit.

(Repeat 2x or until you feel better. Do not repeat if not necessary. Move at your own risk.)

  When I was 8, I was too excited to be 15. When I reached 15, I was such in a hurry to be 18. When I turned 18, I always wished I'd be 21 in a blink. Now that I am, ay puta, I'd trade anything just to be 15 again!

  I will always be this dreamy little girl with the imaginary tutu and music box background tune inside my twisted brain. You know, twisted, but somehow in a good way. Ayoko ng monotonous na buhay. I always tend to bend the rules, sometimes even break them. Imagine a lunatic handing out condoms in the middle of the homily. Yes, that'd be me. Nasa bucket list ko yan, actually. Hah! But kidding aside, hindi ko alam kung pano ko nagagawang maging okay kahit hindi ako okay. Isang Huling El Bimbo lang, okay na ko.

  It's funny how we make it such a big fuss pag ang isang bata eh hindi nakagawa ng homework. Sige, antayin nyong lumaki yan, at pag pills ang nakalimutan nyan, mas malaking hassle 'yon! Sana isang pikit mo lang pwedeng homework na lang ulit ang nagpapasakit ng ulo mo instead of bills to pay. Sana 5pm curfew na lang ang kinatatakutan mo imbes na rehab. Away sa chinese garter imbes na breakups. 

  Pipikit ako. Makikita ko ang batang ballerina, naka-pink, ikot nang ikot. Natumba. Napilayan. Umiyak. Sabi ng nanay nya, okey lang yan. Malayo sa bituka yan.

J.